Torn
by willa76
Summary: The family are torn apart, when someone comes into their home leaving behind a mountain of hurt and pain in their wake. This story is going to be full of adult situations, bad language and violence. You have been warned, R18.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**Please be warned that this is not a happy story. It is full of adult situations, and bad language. It is going to be ruthless and raw, so please R18 at all times.**

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><p>"Let her go you bastard." Lou screamed at the short stocky man that had invaded the station, holding the boys, Rachel and her captive.<p>

He turned and laughed at her, "Don't worry little girl, you'll get yours as well."

He continued to pull Rachel by her hair down to the bedroom. Her legs were kicking out as her hands tried to free her hair. "LET ME GO!" she screamed.

The man grabbed her wrist and twisted it back, "Don't blame me, blame Teaspoon." He told her as he continued to drag her.

He was horney as hell and he liked the big busty women with the sassy mouth. Two minutes earlier she was so full of herself and so brave, bitch don't look to brave now. He thought to himself.

Rachel tried grabbing everything she could to try and stop him from getting her into the bedroom. She knew she was going to be raped, and the thought scared and disgusted her.

"TEASPOON DO SOMETHING!" Lou screamed her throat hoarse with all the yelling and screaming she had done.

Teaspoon and the boys were thrashing around and screaming behind their gags and under the tightness with their bindings.

Lou seeing that she was Rachel's only hope decided to take action, she couldn't allow her friend to be treated this way, it wasn't right. Lou tried to see where the other man had gone, the taller man, before she got herself up off the floor.

Jimmy watched as Lou got up off of the floor and went for the tall one who was laughing after Rachel and his accomplice.

"I said let her go," Lou screamed again jumping on the man's back and hitting him around the back of the head as many times as she could.

Rachel was screaming and pleading in the bedroom, and Lou was getting desperate.

"Get off of me, you stupid bitch." The taller man reached behind him and grabbed Lou's head, throwing her against the wall.

Lou fell hard, smacking her head on the side board as she did. She rolled to her side dizzy and disorientated. Shaking her head, as if to clear it she stumbled back up. She knew that Rachel was being taken against her will and Lou vowed she would not stop fighting to get to her.

As she got steady on her feet she grabbed the vase that was on the side table and threw it at her attackers head. "Fuck" he roared as he back handed Lou, causing her head to whip back.

The boys were watching in horror as she kept getting back up before getting smacked back down.

All Lou was thinking about was Rachel. Her friend didn't deserve what was being done to her. Lou scanned the floor and chairs wondering where the attackers placed all of the boy's guns.

Her eyes quickly found them next to the kitchen. She started to crawl and make her way over there she needed a gun.

Rachel was still screaming and the sound of the bed squeaking made Lou realise she was too late. She looked over to Teaspoon absolutely devastated. All the boys had tears in their eyes as they listened to the same thing.

Lou would not give up though. She crawled her way to the kitchen and reached for the first gun her fingers touched.

"You sneaky bitch." The tall attacker spat as he planted his boot into Lou's side. Lou dropped to the ground once again curling her body into a ball as her stomach ached, the gun dropping to the floor in front of her face.

He pulled her up by her hair and slammed her against the kitchen cupboards, making her smack her head once again. Lou's legs started kicking, hoping to connect with him one way or another.

"Bitch." He shoved Lou to the floor as he covered his manhood that took a decent kick to them. Lou scrambled further into the kitchen trying to get away and trying to get to those guns again.

The boys were once again screaming behind their gags and thrashing about in their bindings "You are not getting away that easily, you little whore." Lou was backed up against the corner of the kitchen. The boys could only see Lou's legs sticking out in the gap.

The man straddled Lou's body and hit her blow after blow. Jimmy was crying tears of anger as he tried to free himself. How dear these men come in here and do this to them.

The boys heard the ripping of clothes, as the man's arms thrashed about franticly. They all watched as he started pulling Lou's trousers down, as well as his own.

"Where's the fight now you disgusting whore?" He sneered as he forcefully entered Lou.

Lou knew what was happening but she couldn't speak or move. Her body was broken; all she could do was lye there while this piece of shit violated her. Inside, her heart and her soul sunk down deep into a black hole. She would not come out of this the same.

Her legs moved with every thrust, and more angry tears rolled down Jimmy's eyes. How could this be happening, how could they let this happen?

Kid threw up behind his gag as he watched in dismay at what was happening to the women he loved, he knew that Lou wasn't hardly conscious but the desperate cries of Rachel were heard loud and clear.

Buck, Cody, Ike and Noah all closed their eyes as the man become rougher with Lou. They couldn't watch any more, and they only wished that they could close their ears as well.

"Thanks girl." The taller one spat as he stood, pulling his breeches with him. He gave the boys a wink, as he adjusted himself in his pants. He looked down to Lou admiring his handy work.

Her eyes were nearing on swollen shut. Her top lip was cut, and swollen, and the side of her mouth was already starting to bruise and that was just her face. He gave her one last kick in the gut while he waited for his mate to be finished with the older one.

Rachel's cries came to a halt when she was delivered a sharp blow to her head. Pulling up his pants he walked out to where his other captives waited.

"Where's the other bitch?" he asked his friend looking around for Lou.

"She put up a fight." His mate told him with a satisfied grin, pointing to the kitchen.

He walked over to where his friend pointed, seeing that the girl called Lou was beaten badly on the floor, with her pants and under garments gone. "Damn son, ya really did a number on her." He laughed as he admired the tiny little body in front of him.

Maybe he should have picked her over the old one, but hell he wasn't complaining.

"The other whore is free," he told his friend, who wasted no time walking down to the bedroom.

The stocky bastard walked over to Teaspoon. Crouching down and slid Teaspoon's gag from his mouth. "Now let's try this again old man, where is Amanda?"

"Go to hell," Teaspoon roared.

"Wrong answer." The man said whipping Teaspoon in the temple with the butt of his gun. Teaspoons skin opened up and blood flowed down his face.

Without warning or threat, the guy raised his gun to Noah's head and pulled the trigger. Blood hit the face of the others, making Kid throw up once again.

"WHERE IS SHE?" he screamed aiming the gun to Kid's head.

Kid was shaking in fear; there was nothing he could do to stop this man even if he tried. He kept his eyes on Lou saying his own silent goodbyes. He knew he was not walking away from here. He prayed that the others will take care of her.

"I don't know," the man cocked the trigger, "STOP. I promise I don't know, last I heard she was in Benton." Teaspoon tried to plead with the man to hear what he was saying.

The man did seem to contemplate for a minute before pulling the trigger any way, killing the Kid.

Jimmy couldn't believe that this was how they were all going to die. Surely this couldn't be it.

"Now think real hard before you lose this Injun." He said as he aligned his gun to Buck's head. Jimmy became wilder thrashing around like a mad man, he couldn't stand this, never has he felt so useless.

But as soon as the words were out the man's mouth his eyes widened as the feel of a barrel of a gun hit the back of his head.

Teaspoon watched as a very naked and shaking Lou got to her feet. She stumbled quietly to where the guns lay and grabbed one of Jimmy's colts from the pile of guns that sat on the kitchen chair.

She crept up behind the man, with the gun in one hand as the other nursed her very sore side, as he was threatening to kill Buck.

In the corner of her eye she could see that Kid was dead, and her hand started to tremble, as did her lip.

But she stood tall, and she pointed the colt to the man's head. She watched as he stiffened, and she smiled a little inside that it was his turn to be scared. She didn't say anything as she fired just as he had done to her friend Noah and her Kid.

He dropped to the ground and Lou fired again, then again, then again and again until there were no more bullets to be fired. She fell to the floor beside the bloodied body and begun hitting the man over and over, while she cried.

A sound from the bedroom had her stopping her attack. She mechanically turned on her heel, dropping the used colt to the floor and went for another gun before disappearing into the bedroom where Rachel was, and the other male.

Teaspoon was yelling for her to untie them first, to let them do it. He wanted answers before Lou killed them all. But his struggling and his mumbled cries fell on deaf ears.

Lou wanted the two men that changed all their lives forever dead.

The boys listened and jumped as the gun kept getting fired in there until the clicking of an empty chamber sounded out.

Lou sat on the side of the bed staring at her friend. She had her hands bound and tied together and she had bite marks over her chest and stomach.

Lou freed her arms, and laid them on her side. She pulled a blanket up and over her body covering her nakedness. Kissing Rachel on the head she headed back into the lounge where the boys were tied.

She did not dare look at the Kid's lifeless body, nor Noah's. She will grieve for them, but it will not be now.

Jimmy and the boy's eyes were watching and waiting for Lou to come back to them. They hoped that it was her doing the firing in there and not the worthless bastard who had disappeared in there after his friend was done with Rachel.

Lou came out with the gun hanging at her side. She was still naked, and her body was littered with nasty red and purple marks.

Jimmy closed his eyes never imagining this is how he would see Lou naked. Many times he had pictured it, but never was it like this.

She walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the top drawer, before walking back over to the boys. Lou cut Teaspoon free then held the knife out to him, not trusting it in her own hands and headed for the door.

"Lou where are you going?" Teaspoon asked, but she did not reply she just walked out and headed off into the darkness.

Teaspoon quickly cut Buck, Jimmy, Cody and Ike free. Jimmy pulled his gag out and ran after Lou. Where the hell did she think she was going?

He pulled open the door and saw her retreat into the bunkhouse. He couldn't see what she was up to, but when he saw her walk back out with clothes in her hands, and a towel he knew she was off to the shower.

He stayed back as he watched her. He didn't want her to freak out by being here, so he kept his distance.

After Lou showered she tried dressing herself in her pants, but she was so sore down there and the seam of her pants was not sitting right. She quickly took them off and went back to find a skirt or dress. She knew that one of them was watching her but she didn't care who, just as long as they kept their distance.

As she slipped a dress on, forgoing her undergarments, she walked back to the house to help Rachel. Jimmy made himself known when Lou got closer to the house.

"I'm going to kill her." Lou told Jimmy.

"Going to kill who Lou?"

"Amanda. I'm going to kill her."

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><p><strong>Ok so what do you think? I know I have a lot of work to do on my other stories, but someone told me you have to listen to your character and write what they need to be written. I am up to my fifth chapter and can't seem to stop. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**Please remember R18, for language and adult situations.**

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><p>Lou walked through the door of the house, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw that Buck and Ike were moving Kid's body.<p>

His limp arms hung down the side of him, his face already void of its pinkness, in its place a stone cold grey look.

A sob escaped Lou causing everybody's eyes to turn to her. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed the sob that set to follow the first.

She will not grieve today.

"Lou?" Jimmy questioned with heartfelt sorrow for his friend as he walked back into the house behind her.

Lou placed her hand up to stop him from speaking to her. She didn't want to talk and she definitely did not want to talk about Amanda.

Lou didn't return anyone's gaze. She walked straight into Rachel's bedroom, pleased that the body of her attacker was gone, but disgusted that the blood remained.

Ignoring that for now she gathered all of Rachel's torn clothing in her arms and walked back out towards the kitchen gathering up her own ripped clothing before walking into the living room.

Lou threw the clothes into the fire place and set them a light. The boys watched as they cleaned up the blood and mess that was on the floor in the living room. Jimmy was at a loss at what to do, and he was not the only one.

Lou couldn't hold herself up in that moment. She sunk to her knees, as her small body shook with heart wrenching sobs. Lou wanted strong arms around her, holding her together, as she felt like she was being ripped apart, but she knew her fear would never allow that to happen for some time.

The boys all looked on with sadness and anguish, they wanted to go to her but they were scared to touch her.

Lou used the bottom of her dress to wipe her eyes dry as she got to her feet, ready for what she had to do next.

"Can someone get me a bath please?" Lou asked no one in particular, keeping her head down.

"Sure Lou, I can." Cody told her sadly, and wanting to do anything to help her.

"Make sure it's hot Cody." she told him as she went back to Rachel's room. She pulled out Rachel's night gown and placed it on the arm chair in the corner of the room.

Lou then gathered some clean linen and bedding. Taking a deep breath in she walked over to Rachel, who was still out to it on the bed. She ignored the pain in her own body as she sat down beside her friend.

"Rachel," Lou shook Rachel's shoulder, earning her a small moan.

"Rachel," Lou repeated a few more times, silently crying, until Rachel opened her eyes.

Lou watched sadly as memories started coming back to her friend.

"Oh God, get off me, get off me," she screamed, her arms thrashing out hitting Lou in the process. Lou sat there and took it. She wanted her friend to let it all out.

"Should we go in there?" Buck asked listening to Rachel's crying and howling.

"Buck there will be a time that we will need to help those girls in there, but it is not now." Teaspoon told him as he helped Jimmy and Ike move Noah from the house.

They laid him next to Kid on the backboard of the wagon. Ike ran into the house to get a sheet to cover his fallen brothers.

"Jimmy you have to bottle that anger just for a few days, just till we get things sorted." Teaspoon told him as he watched the young man's jaw tick, and his eyes harden.

"Teaspoon things aren't going to be sorted here for some time." Teaspoon nodded sadly at the truth in Jimmy's words. "This was planned. This was planned perfectly. They struck us when we were comfortable, distracted not watching what was going on around us."

"I agree Jimmy. These two..." Buck shook his head not knowing what to call the two men that broke in and done this, "...came here for the sole purpose to destroy us. Whoever is behind this knows that we will help Amanda, so they were making sure we had a big disadvantage."

Teaspoon and Jimmy took in Buck's words and agreed with them.

Cody knocked lightly on Rachel's bedroom door and told Lou that the bath was ready. Lou said her thanks and helped Rachel off of the bed.

"Come on Rachel let me help you to the bath." Lou ignored her own pain as she took some of Rachel's weight on her shoulders.

"Oh Lou," Rachel began to cry. Lou swallowed her own tears and concentrated on her friend.

Walking slowly to the tub, Lou helped Rachel step in to the hot water, holding her hand tighter as the hot water stung her womanly area. Lou knew that it stung bad, and once again wished that she could take the pain away for her.

She watched knowingly as Rachel went for the soap, and begun to scrub her skin vigorously. Lou did not have the heart to tell her that no matter how hard she scrubbed, she will forever feel dirty.

"Rachel I will be back in a minute or two, yell out if you need me," Lou raced the best she could, back to Rachel's room and shed the bed of the linen. Bundling them up and once again taking them out to the fire place to burn them.

She walked back into Rachel's room and re-made the bed. Lou opened the window as wide as she could, to air it from the smell of those men. She cleaned the room as fast as her body would allow, before running to peek in on Rachel.

Lou did not want to leave her alone for too long, as she knew of the dark ideas that run through your mind when you have been hurt the way they had both been. Seeing that she was fine she raced towards the kitchen, making a pot of coffee and taking a cup of it to Rachel's room.

Grabbing Rachel's nightgown she headed back to Rachel. She walked into the room and shut the door behind her.

"Oh Lou," Rachel cried.

"I know Rachel. I know and I'm sorry." Lou told her as she held out her hand and helped Rachel out of the bath. Lou did not speak of Kid and Noah, nor did she tell Rachel that she too had been violated.

This was Rachel's time to be taken care of, and Lou was going to do just that.

She dried her friend off and helped her into her nightgown. Once again Lou helped Rachel back to her bedroom, she pulled back the crisp clean sheets that were on the bed and helped Rachel slip between them.

"Lou what did they want?" Rachel cried as Lou handed her the cup of coffee.

"Amanda." Lou managed to get out through her clenched teeth.

"But what does she have to do with us? I mean I know Teaspoon loves her like a daughter, but we haven't seen her for a while. I just don't understand." Rachel cried.

"Those men were sent here to find out where Amanda is. I don't think it was for them personally, I think they must work for someone. Teaspoon couldn't tell them where she was, cause' he just doesn't know." Well that is what Lou hoped anyway. She hoped that Teaspoon wouldn't let us go through all of that just to save her.

"I thought she was in Benton."

"She was, but she and that Deputy ran off together. It doesn't matter Rachel, this was Amanda's fight not ours." Lou said with so much hate she nearly choked. "Lie down, try and get some rest,"

"Are they dead?" Rachel wanted to know, so she could try and rest easy.

"Yeah they're dead. The boys are in the living room, no one else will be getting in here tonight, so try and get some sleep."

Rachel smiled at Lou and that was when she finally looked at Lou, really looked at her. "Lou your face, you've been beaten badly." Rachel stated sadly.

"I'll live." Lou said dimming the lamp. "Try and sleep." she told Rachel again before walking out the door, closing it only just, in case Rachel needed one of them.

"Lou," Teaspoon said softly, making Lou stop and look at him.

Teaspoon inched closer, but Lou put her hand up to stop him. "Don't come near me."

"Alright Lou." Teaspoon looked towards Rachel's bedroom. "How is she?"

"As well as she can be." Lou told him shortly.

She stared at Teaspoon wanting to ask him, what was troubling her mind. "Promise me you don't know where Amanda is." Lou said taking Teaspoon off guard. "Promise me Teaspoon."

Hurt crossed Teaspoon's face as he answered Lou. "Lou I promise you I don't know where she is. I haven't heard from her in months."

"We going to find the bitch?" Lou asked with a hatred tone.

"Lou that's a bit harsh."

"Fuck off it is Teaspoon. Harsh is what happened here tonight. This should have been all for Amanda, not us. She better pray that those assholes find her first before I do."

"Lou we don't even know what trouble she is in." Teaspoon was trying to keep calm with Lou. He knew what she had been through tonight, he knew she was angry and needed someone to blame but he did not like the way she was talking about Amanda.

"I don't care. Either way it's her trouble not ours, just like every other time. She's always in trouble Teaspoon, and she's always behind it all."

Teaspoon on instinct went out to touch Lou on the arm to comfort her, but Lou wasn't ready for anyone to touch her.

"DON'T TOUCH ME." She screamed in his face, causing Teaspoon to pale, and the boys to flinch back.

"Lou-I-I'm sorry."

In a clipped tone Lou told him, "Not as sorry as Amanda is going to be."

Jimmy went to step in seeing that this was getting heated, and fast. He wanted to put a stop to it before Lou or Teaspoon said something they may live to regret.

Lou seeing Jimmy's movement stepped further away, she didn't want any of them to get to close to her. Jimmy stood frozen. Surely Lou knew that he would never hurt her.

"Lou she is like a daughter to me, I have to believe that she isn't a part of what happened here, and if she is I have to believe that she is an innocent." Lou stood there staring at Teaspoon, seeing only a stranger. "If you are hell bent on going after her, you have to be prepared for me to stop you from hurting her, she is family to me."

Lou's resolve was threatening to crumble at Teaspoon's words. I don't think he will ever have any idea how much they hurt her. She felt as if he was choosing Amanda over her, and that broke Lou's heart.

"Funny, I've had those words thrown at me too. Well Teaspoon we will have to see which daughter you stand next to when the time comes." And with that Lou walked out.

Teaspoon stood there feeling absolutely broken in two. He was stuck in the middle, and he was at a loss at what to do.

He looked to his boys seeing that they were all itching to go after Lou, but also wanted to stand next to their Marshal, their station master, their only fatherly figure they have known. Teaspoon guessed that they two were stuck in the middle.

"What are we going to do Teaspoon?" Cody asked still looking out to where Lou had disappeared.

"We are going to bury Kid and Noah before we do anything. They deserve a proper send off, and then we go looking for answer..."

The sound of thundering hooves stopped Teaspoon in his tracks.

"Shit." Jimmy hissed under his breath as he ran for the door. He was just able to make out the silhouette of Lou riding out on Lightning. "It's Lou, she's gone."

"God damn it." Teaspoon roared.

After Lou left the house, she walked out to see two bodies on the ground, and two on the backboard of the wagon, with a sheet over them.

She walked over to the backboard and pulled the sheet back, to reveal Kid and Noah's bodies. Lou allowed herself to sob quietly as her hand reached out to pat down Kid's hair. She leant over the side of the wagon and kissed Kid on the mouth. "I love you Kid." She kissed him again before pulling back.

Lou walked around to the other side of the wagon and Kissed Noah on the cheek, "Goodbye Noah. Take care of each other up there."

Lou pulled the sheet back up and over their bodies, before running to the barn. She didn't even change out of her dress; she saddled up Lightning and rode out of the barn as fast as she could. Lou knew that Amanda was last in Benton, so that is where she would start looking.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**As always rated M. Thanks so much for the reviews, and the added alerts. Like I said after the first chapter I know I have other stories to complete but this one seems to be writing itself.**

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><p>The ride to Benton was hard for Lou. She was hurting emotionally and physically, and she was starting to doubt that she could get this done on her own.<p>

Lou knew that if she had asked Jimmy, Buck or any of the other boys to help her, they would. But the fact was, however irrational it may seem, Lou was embarrassed and ashamed at what they saw that night at the house. Lou couldn't look them in the eye, just as she couldn't look herself in the eye.

But she did not let up. She was going to make whoever was behind this pay, and she would not rest until she did so.

Riding into Benton, she couldn't help but notice that all eyes were on her. She felt self conscious and unwanted. Things did not seem as friendly as it was when her and the boys escorted Amanda and Hack back after the fiasco with the Pike brothers.

Lou choosing to ignore the questioning looks placed a worn out Lightning in the livery, she inquired about another horse, she did not want to leave her trusty stead here, but Lou had ridden him hard, she needed to let him rest.

Lou, being very aware that she was still in a dress decided to clean herself up some. The thought had crossed her mind to go into this in the disguise she had been using over the past year, but decided that she would go into this who she truly was.

After washing her face and fixing her hair, so she had some tendrils covering her bruised face, she walked into the saloon that Amanda had owned. She scanned the many faces that turned to look in her direction.

Not seeing her, Lou walked up to the bar hollering for the bar keep.

"Amanda here?" Lou asked, already knowing she wasn't but she had to play dumb to get some answers.

"Who wants to know?" The barkeep inquired, as he leaned his big ugly head closer to Lou in an intrusive way.

Lou acted if she had suddenly an itchy leg, she reached down to her boot and pulled her gun out as she reached over and pulled the scruff of the man's shirt bringing his head even closer to her.

Lou raised her gun and placed it under the bar keeps chin.

"I aint' got time for your childish games. If you know where she is fucken' tell me, don't waste my time." The barkeep looked Lou over not believing that this tiny wee woman could be so full of staunch. He decided to play with her, see just how serious she was.

He slowly reached his hand under the bar, searching for his rifle that he kept under there, but Lou saw the movement and cocked the hammer, daring him with her eyes to fucken' pull such a thing.

"You crazy bitch," he spat, so Lou shoved the barrel further into the fat around his neck. She was trouble; the bruises on her face told him that, he didn't want any trouble in his saloon.

"Alright, alright." The barkeep panicked, "Amanda left here three months ago. Her and that Wilkins just disappeared."

"Does anyone have any idea where they were headed?" Lou saw the bar keep eye someone behind her.

"What business do you have with Miss O'Connell?" A new male's voice asked with a nasty clip to his tone. Lou shoved the bar keep away from her but kept her gun trained on him as she now turned to see a man in a suit standing close by.

"She took something of mine." Lou watched as his face, and everyone else's in here relaxed.

"Join the club little Miss. Amanda took everything from us, her and that sorry excuse for a Deputy."

"What did they do?" Lou asked lowering her gun, to sit by her side.

The sound of the saloon doors opening had Lou looking at the new visitors. Some men walked in, and instantly the town folk went back to drinking their drinks, playing their cards and eating their meals.

"Put your gun away Miss or you will get us all into trouble." Lou did as the man she was talking to, asked.

"I can't tell you what they did, as the accusation will get me killed, but I can tell you that the men that walked in," he indicated to the three men that were making their way up to the bar "are renegades in a big gang. They too are looking for Amanda, and anyone that knows her, so I suggest you take you looking somewhere else." The man warned Lou.

Lou could tell he was dead serious; she tucked her gun back down in her boot. She nodded to the man and made her exit. But as she turned her head, a photo on the wall caught her eye. She looked up to the wall to see a photo of the boys, Teaspoon, Amanda and herself that was taken outside the station. It enraged Lou that it was up there for everyone to see.

Lou stormed up to it and swiped it off of the wall, breaking the glass it was encased behind she pulled the black and white photo free.

Her finger ran lightly over Kid's face, as a tear fell from her eye. "Not now," she told herself, as she folded the photo in four and tucked it in the front of her dress.

"That belong to you?" A deep husky voice asked Lou as he grabbed her wrist. Lou looked to the owner of the hand, and sneered up at him.

"Seeing as it is my family in the photo, then yes it belongs to me."

"You family with Amanda?" he demanded to know.

"That bitch will never be a part of my family." Lou said shoving the man away from her.

She knew she was right in thinking that Amanda was deep in this, that much was confirmed, but she still was clueless as to what and how deep.

Lou went back to the livery. It was right smack in the middle of town. She thought that if she positioned herself just right, she may be able to get a clue to who those men worked for, and what it is they were doing here.

Four hours later Lou watched as two of the men came out of the saloon, laughing and carrying a bottle of whiskey in each of their hands.

She watched as they headed down the dirt covered street, laughing and hollering. Lou stayed back staying in the shadows of the surrounding stores. The town was dead quiet except for these intoxicated men. The town was cleared out of its regular residence. They are long turned in for the night.

The men came to a stop outside a two storey establishment, 'Miss Mollies' was on the sign. Lou rolled her eyes of course they were going to a whore house.

It was then that Lou noticed a few other men standing around in a large group. The two she had been watching waltzed up to them, each sharing around their bottle of whiskey. Were they part of the gang as well?

Lou rounded the back of the establishment and snuck in the back door. She thought that if she got closer to the group of men she may over hear something that could be useful.

The closer she got the louder she could hear them but their vulgar words were not what she wanted to hear.

Deciding that this was not a good place to be, she was about to stand up and sneak back out, until a tap on her shoulder had her whipping around in a panic.

Lou looked the busty lady that stood before her in her undergarments. She looked her up and down, noticing she was a working girl, obviously one of Miss Mollie's working girls.

"I know you," The plump women told Lou as she took a step closer, accessing the skinny girl in front of her. She couldn't help but see aversion in the young girls face.

"No, I don't think you do." Lou said, trailing off at the end as Lou did find something rather familiar about her.

"No love I do." The plump lady studied Lou for a bit longer trying to rack her brain as to where she saw this skinny little girl before.

"I got it." She sung loudly, looking pleased with herself.

While Lou tried to look for somewhere to hide as she too remembered this women suddenly.

"You were the little skinny whore that sat next to me on the coach out to the mission."

Lou's face turned cold as she remembered that day.

"You are aren't you?" Lou didn't answer, "Doesn't matter anyhow, I know it's you and here you stand trying to look better than me," The plump lady scoffed.

"I'm not trying to look better than you, not at all."

"Mmmm hmmm." The lady hummed not believing a word that Lou said.

"Look I don't have time to worry if you believe me or not, so could you please step aside so I can get through."

"Well aren't you a prissy wee thing."

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind, I really do." Lou told her somewhat defeated.

"Well tell me what's troubling your young mind, and I may forgive you."

Lou shook her head. She was not about to tell this women what she had going on, but she did have to give her something. Lou looked at how happy this lady was being what she is, it made Lou wonder something.

"I see you and your friends, you seem to be happy to whore yourself out, is that not right?"

"Some of us are born with a burning desire between our legs, can't help it if we like what we do." The lady told her with a big grin on her face. She was rather interested where this conversation was heading.

"And that's fine with me, I don't judge you and what you do, it aint' you that I have a problem with."

"Well who do you have a problem with sugar?"

"Men." Lou said plain and simple.

The lady nodded, she knew exactly how men could be, and by the look of the young girls face, the lady also could see that she had experienced just how ruthless men are.

"Why do you think men..." Lou shook her head, she couldn't say it.

"Go on sugar. Remember you are trying to redeem yourself here."

"I just don't get why men feel the need to rape and beat those who don't have that burning desire as you called it."

"So what you're saying is you think whores deserve to be raped and treated like shit?" The women said angrily. She thought that the girl was meant to be apologising not making things worse for herself.

"No, no. I don't think that. It came out wrong." Lou quickly defended.

"Well make it come out right because you aren't helping your case."

"Men have sex to get their...you know...relief," The lady smiled and nodded, "I just don't see why men look to rape, when there are women like yourself that can give them that relief when they need it. Why take, when there is a service out there for sex."

The ladies face softened, she knew what Lou was trying to say, and it saddened her to burst her bubble.

"Honey we maybe whores but we are not exempt from being raped or beaten. Some men are pigs and they will always take what it is they need. As I have the urge for fucking, they have the same urge for power. Men don't rape to be relieved. They rape to feel dominant over those they see weaker then themselves." The women could see that the little lady in front of her had been wronged, and she wanted to let her know that not all men are like that.

"Listen sugar, I know you know men that are not like that. And if you don't, do know that they are out there. If you are one of the lucky ones that finds one, hold onto him sugar, and don't you dare let him go."

Lou's mind went straight to Kid. It was too late for Lou she had, had him in her grasp and now he was gone.

"Don't cry sugar, the world aint' worth your tears." The big women flung her arm around Lou's shoulders. "Now sugar you need to pull yourself together. You need to have a bath cos you stink, and you need to put on a pretty dress, cos if Pike's men see you like this..."

"I thought the Pike brothers were dead." Lou snapped, shocked that she had heard the name Pike.

"The two older ones are, but little Jacob isn't and he is meaner than the other two ever were. I suppose vengeance does do that to someone."

"What's he doing out this way?"

"From what I heard there was money and gold trapped up in them hills. Apparently it is why his brothers were killed." That's weird. Lou thought they were killed because they took Amanda. Wasn't that whole fight because Frank wanted his brother free? Lou knew nothing of money being involved.

"So he's looking for the money." Lou wondered out loud.

The women leaned closer to Lou, "Apparently they can't find it, because someone has stolen the map."

"SALLY," I man's voice yelled.

"That's me sugar." The woman now known as Sally said. "I can tell that this is not where you were meant to be. You better scram before someone see's you."

"Thanks Sally."

"S'ok sugar." She flicked Lou a wink, before standing to her feet. With a quick adjustment to her large chest she walked from the room.

Lou would put all the money she had on Amanda having stolen the map. Thing is she had to find her and find out for sure.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own the Young Riders **

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><p>Lou left Miss Mollies the same way she arrived, through the back door, and in the depth of the dark shadows.<p>

She could hear the men, she now knew worked for Jacob Pike, laughing and hollering rude things to the girls that worked in the brothel.

She went over what Sally had said to her, and thought that she was right. The man that took her the other night didn't do it just to relieve himself. He did it because he could. He did it because he wanted to show her and the boys that he had more power than they did in that moment.

An arm suddenly pulled Lou in between two buildings. Lou started thrashing out against her captive, fear coursing through her veins that she was going to be raped again.

"Lou, Lou, stop your hurting me." A woman's voice cried out as quiet as she could.

Lou stopped hearing that the person that grabbed her was a woman. Lou looked towards the voice, which held her, taking just a minute to recognise her.

"Jane?"

"Yeah it is." Jane told her happy that Lou had remembered her. "What are you doing here Lou?" Jane asked. She had noticed Lou the moment she rode into town.

Jane had kept her distance seeing what it was Lou was up to, and also seeing if her favourite Kiowa was with her.

Why weren't the boys with her?

Lou just happy to find someone she knew broke down in tears. Jane seeing that Lou was in a bad way held onto her while she let it all out.

"Lou come with me, let's get you cleaned up." Jane suggested. Lou agreed and followed Jane to a small shack behind the blacksmith.

"I'm sorry for losing it back there," Lou told Jane, who handed Lou a mug of hot coffee.

"Don't sweat it." Jane told her as she sat down in front of a beaten and emotionally tattered Lou. "What are you doing here? This town is not what it appears." Jane told her.

The town hasn't been the same since Pike and his men showed up. Jane didn't think that it was too safe for Lou being here.

"Jane did you know that Jacob Pike was here and running these thugs?" Lou asked shocking Jane. How in the hell did she know that? Unless that is why she was here. Makes sense, after all they met on the ride back to Benton after what went down with the brothers at the Mission.

"I did Lou. When Jacob arrived with his men, they made their presence known. Most of the town folk have fled," Jane said sadly. "Pike's men killed a lot of the towns' men, powerful men. Their families didn't stick around after that, there was nothing keeping them here."

"Why doesn't someone show him where the money is? You can't tell me Amanda was the only one who knew of its where about's?"

"I'll tell you better not mention that name around folk you don't know. Pike wants that woman dead, and the towns people wouldn't care if he did kill her." Jane quickly told Lou, "Anyway how did you know about the money?"

"A woman at Miss Mollies told me." Jane laughed, Lou had only been here for a good part of a day and she had already found out a lot about what had been happening around Benton.

"She really did a number on everyone." Jane stated.

"Yeah I heard about that." Lou stated simply. Lou thought about all that has happened not just with her and her family, but with a whole town. "Jane, all this cannot be for money, surely."

"Sad thing is Lou I think it is. My father was killed because of it. I have to believe that, that is all it is about."

"So he wants Amanda because she knows where the gold is hidden?"

"I think so, yes." Jane said, pretty sure that is the only reason he wants Amanda.

"Well what about Hack, where is he?"

"Lou Hack's dead."

"How did that happen?"

"About three months ago, I think. I'm not sure, but I know that Hack and the Marshal both went to have words with Jacob. Jacob was out with his family when they came across the Benton law. I know Jacob's men were not far behind, shots were fired and Jacob's son and wife were caught in the cross fire. Pike's men came riding into town with both the Marshal and Hack being dragged behind their horses. They cut them lose and left them on the street, dead, outside of the saloon. "

"Then this isn't just about money. Hack killed Jacob's family, Teaspoon and the boys killed his brothers this is Jacob destroying all that were involved. The money is just a sweetener on top."

"But why go after Amanda?"

"Hack and she were together." Lou told Jane. Surely Jane knew that.

"Are you sure? I mean I know they hung out a lot but I have seen him with plenty of women, and the day before he was killed, he was with the school mistress."

"But that doesn't make sense. Teaspoon heard from Amanda not long after what went down at the mission. She talked of her and Hack, Teaspoon said they were together."

"I don't know what to tell you. They may have been, and in fact I do remember seeing them ride into town together the day Jacob Pike arrived, but that is the last time I saw them near each other."

"If Amanda and Hack knew where to find the money, do you think maybe Amanda would set Hack up so she could claim the money herself?"

"Do you really believe that Amanda would be that ruthless? And I think what happened with Jacob's family was an unlucky accident."

"I know, you're right. But I also think with the right motivation she would do anything." Jane gave me a doubtful look, "Amanda is money orientated always has been always will be. I think that if she saw an opportunity to become sole owner of that money and gold, she wouldn't think twice about going for it."

"You know her more than me. I can only go by what you are saying." Jane thought about it for a minute, "But from the small amount of time I spent with Teaspoon and the boys, I couldn't see them trusting someone as conniving as that." Lou held her chest as a stab of pain struck her heart. They did trust Amanda, which is why they weren't with Lou.

"And from what I remember Kid was very protective of you, I always he imagined he would follow you everywhere. Should I be preparing for another visitor?" The pain in Lou's heart just about near tore it in two.

"He's dead." Lou said coldly and tearfully, "And Noah." Lou looked up to Jane, "And the only clue we were given to why they were so brutally taken from us was Amanda." Lou wiped her eyes dry, "You see Jane I have every right to believe Amanda is up to no good, I just wish I knew what was so damn important that people I love were hurt." Lou told her sadly.

Jane looked to Lou and just like everyone else, she could see she had, had some trouble. She also noticed that Lou was tired so decided to put an end to this conversation and show Lou to her bed.

"How bout you and I head into town tomorrow, I have a few things to get, we tell everyone we can that you are my cousin. It gives you a reason to be here if anyone asks questions."

"Jane I don't want to put you in any danger."

"You're not Lou. Let me do this for you."

"Thank you Jane."

"You're welcome, now let's turn in I have a feeling we got some big days ahead of us."

"I have to head back to Sweetwater and gather my things, I'll leave tomorrow night and hope to be back in two days."

Jane nodded and led Lou to her bed for the night. It wasn't much, but Lou didn't care she was just grateful for the pillow and the company.

Lou pulled out the photograph that she stole from the saloon and studied the faces of her family. She knew that there was never going to be another one taken with all of them together so Lou would treat it like gold.

She fell asleep that night with the Photograph tucked securely tucked under her pillow.

The next day the girls walked around town, letting Pikes men and what was left of the town's people see Lou's face.

Both the girls stopped in at the store needing a few things. Lou finished up first and let Jane know that she would meet her outside on the boardwalk.

Lou walked out of the door, smiling as the warm sun shone on her face, for some reason her mind went straight to Kid.

Especially their day at the pond, with the sun on their back, the soft sand between their toes and the warm water between their bodies. A content moan escaped Lou when she thought she could feel the soft touch of Kid's hands on her body.

Lou sighed as she opened her eyes. She wished she could daydream about Kid all day, but in the middle of the street it wasn't a good idea.

Lou looked to the shop window, walking along the outside of it admiring what the merchant had displayed.

Lou heard the sound of a door opening and looked up to see if it was Jane, but as she turned someone crashed into her, and crashed hard.

Lou looking to grab onto something before she hit the ground grabbed a hold of an arm.

She got her balance and looked up to see that a young fair headed man was staring at her hand that was attached to his arm.

"Oh gosh I'm so sorry," Lou cried as she let the man's arm go.

"Yes well perhaps you can watch where it is your going from now on." Lou looked up to the man taken back by his rudeness. She did not bump into him on purpose; in fact it was he that crashed into her.

"And maybe you should walk round with your eyes open, so _**you**_ can watch where _**you're **_going."

The stranger was annoyed with the women who ploughed into him, then had the audacity to grab a hold of his arm and blame it all on him. But as she raised her face to look up at him, he saw the bruises, and the way her brown eyes were void shine.

He knew that look all too well, hell he has caused that look often, but he knew that this was not the handy work of him or his men. He had warned them all about keeping their hands to themselves when it came to the women in this town.

"I hope you have a father, or a brother," the man said to Lou. She was confused to why he would say that, and the stranger must have seen the confusion as well as he went on to explain.

"Your face Miss," Lou reached up to touch her still tender face. "I hope that the man who did that got what was owing to him."

"He did," was all Lou said. She didn't know this man, so she wasn't going to go into it with him.

"What is your name? I have not seen you here before."

"Louise. My name is Louise. I arrived yesterday to stay with my cousin."

"Do I know your cousin?"

"I don't know, do you?" Lou sassed. Making the strangers lip tug in the corner giving her an almost smile.

"Are you purposely trying to be difficult?"

"No not at all. I just don't like giving strange men too much information about me. Who knows what kind of a creep you could be?"

"I'm starting to see how you got those bruises." Lou's smile faded, and so did the strangers. "I'm sorry Miss that was uncalled for, please forgive me." Lou was unsure what to think of this man. She had a feeling that he was one of Pike's men, but there was something about him that was drawing her in.

"Really I am sorry Louise. I'm just not use to people talking to me the way you are. The towns' people don't like me being here."

"Why who are you?"

"Are you telling me you don't know who I am?"

"It's exactly what I'm telling you. You could be Abraham Lincoln for all I know." The man laughed out loud, catching Lou and passing witnesses of guard.

"Well I can promise you that I am not him."

"Well then I can only imagine who you are and what it is you do."

"I can see the wheels turning in that pretty little head of yours. But I like that you don't know me, and I like that I know you Louise."

"Ah but my name is just a very small part of me."

"Lou...ise?" Jane questioned coming out of the store she was in, shocked to see who Lou was talking with. Jane looked to Lou's new friend with distaste and abhorrence.

"I see that your cousin knows me." The man said as he looked at Jane.

"Louise do you know Mr Pike?" Jane asked carefully trying not to spark any more curiosity from Jacob.

Lou's eyes widened at Jane.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Lou curled her toes in her boots fighting the urge to lash out; of course when she looked back to Jacob she had to dig her finger nails into her palm to keep reminding her to stay in control.

With the sweetest voice ever she smiled up at Jacob and said, "I think we are even now Mr Pike."

"How's that?" Jacob asked looking to Jane noting that he hadn't seen her before either.

"Well we now both know each other's names."

"That we do Louise," Jacob smiled returning his gaze to Lou. "But I think that I would like to take you to dinner so we can get to know each other even better." Lou's nails retracted from her palm as she stared into Jacob's eyes.

"You think you want to take me to dinner?"

"Oh I know I want to take you to dinner. How are you placed tonight?" he smiled brightly, causing the butterflies in Lou's tummy dance.

"I would love to..."

"But"

"But I'm riding out for a few days. I will be back in two days time"

"Where are you heading Louise?" What was it about this man that had Lou thinking she could tell him anything? This man was behind all of her pain, right alongside of Amanda. He shouldn't be having this kind of effect on her.

"Well that would be cheating Mr Pike. If I tell you would be at an advantage on getting to know me better."

"Your right Louise. Well I shall call on you say four nights from today, just in case you get side tracked or you're tired from the ride."

"That would be fine."

"Well till then Louise, take care of yourself."

"Will do Mr Pike, and perhaps you could practice on that walking with your eyes open." Lou smiled sweetly.

"In deed." Jacob replied with just as big as grin as Lou.

Jane pulled Lou's arm dragging her away from Jacob as quick as she could.

"How in the hell did you stay so calm talking with him? And were you flirting Lou?"

"No I was trying to play the part, you know keep your friends close and your enemies even closer," Lou lied. She couldn't deny that Jacob Pike had sparked something inside of her. This trip to Sweetwater was exactly what she needed to remind her of what she had lost and suffered.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**I'm taking the family on holiday for a week. It's been a hellish few months, and we are all in desperate need for a break. I am going to try and update as many of my stories as I can, but I can't promise too much. I have most of them written, I just have to go through them, which I find to be the most time consuming thing. **

**Hope this chapter reads well, my tired eyes has only just skimmed over it.**

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><p>The boys never made it to Benton like they had planned.<p>

In fact they were warned by a large group of renegades, that if they did continue in that direction they wouldn't be walking away from it.

Teaspoon and the boys knew that this was just another small part of everything that was happening. They didn't know who the renegades worked for or what they stood to gain in Benton, but they all knew that they were not emotionally or physically ready for a fight.

They hoped that Lou had been turned away, just like them, and was already back at the station. That thought alone spurred them on to return home.

Teaspoon could not get the hurt, lost look of Lou's face when they last spoke.

Did she have any idea how painstakingly awful it was to watch her and Rachel being treated that way? It was the hardest and most disturbing thing he has ever witnessed in his life time. He loved Lou, just as he loved the boys, they were his family. But so was Amanda.

Before he and the boys rode out they asked Bennett to watch over Rachel in town. They didn't want her out at the station by herself, and honestly they didn't think she was up to it anyway.

Riding in they took care of their horses before heading to the bunkhouse. They all needed a good night's sleep and some hearty tucker in their stomachs.

Not one of them had been able to stomach food since that night, so they needed to start looking after themselves, otherwise they wouldn't be fit to help anyone.

"Lou's been here." Jimmy stated as he saw her trunk of things were sorted through and sitting on her bunk. "God damn it." He threw his gloves to the table. He regretted not following her that night, and promised to not make that mistake again.

He went over to Lou's things to see that she had her only two dresses laid out, along with some personal things. Where ever she was headed she wasn't coming back in a hurry.

"I think she would try and find Rachel." Buck stated, thinking that Lou has ridden into Sweetwater, but then again she may have gone to the cemetery. Lou would have realised we buried our friends. "Or she's gone to see Noah and Kid."

Jimmy looked to Buck thinking that that would be the first place she would go. "You could be right Buck." Jimmy said snatching his gloves back off the table ready to ride into town to look for Lou.

A knock on the door had Jimmy answering it swiftly.

"Lou." He called out hopefully, but was disappointed when it was not her standing on the porch.

"Amanda." Teaspoon questioned in shock from behind Jimmy's shoulder.

"Oh Teaspoon I am so glad that I found you." Amanda cried as she pushed past Jimmy and flung herself at the man she considered her father, arms.

"Amanda what is going on?" Teaspoon asked holding her head to his chest with one hand as his other arm wrapped around her back. He was so happy she came to him.

"You've heard then?" Amanda sobbed.

"We know someone is looking for you, but we don't know who or why." Cody answered, causing Amanda to look up at him.

"You care to fill us in?" Buck said with a slight distaste in his tone.

Teaspoon shot him a warning glare, and then looked back down to Amanda lovingly; he just wouldn't believe that Amanda would be behind all of this heartache and mess. Amanda pulled away from Teaspoon, sensing that she had some explaining to do.

"It seems that the Pike gang ride again." She said jokingly, pissing the boys off. There was no joke about what happened here a few nights ago.

"A bit like your boyfriend." Cody stated, not at all happy where this was heading.

Choosing to ignore Cody, Teaspoon asked, "What do you mean Amanda? We all saw the Pike brothers die."

"Yes you saw Frank, and Emory die, but there's a third, Jacob. And he is not at all happy." Amanda paused to let that information sink in, "He's ruthless and he doesn't care who he hurts to get what he wants. I'm truly scared." She cried, causing Teaspoon to hug her closer once again.

"He hasn't hurt you has he?" Teaspoon cringed waiting for the answer. He hoped she hadn't suffered the same fate as Lou and Rachel.

"No Teaspoon." Amanda continued to cry.

"Why are they looking for you in particular?" Jimmy asked, needing more information.

"What makes you think they are?" Amanda questioned back. Jimmy couldn't help but pick up a defensive tone to her question.

"We had us some visitors; all they asked about was you." Jimmy told her, not giving her any more information then what he had to.

"Amanda what is going on?" Teaspoon asked her again, picking up on the same defensive tone Jimmy had.

Amanda sighed and pulled away from Teaspoon, taking a seat at the supper table.

"When I was taken by Frank, I ended up with the only map to the towns' money and gold. It took Hack and I a few weeks to find the exact location, but I'm pretty sure that we have found it. We went back to Benton to tell the town folk what we had discovered when Hack noticed someone was watching us. He thought it would be safer if we buried our map and stay clear of the treasure site until we found out who was watching us. It didn't take long for Jacob Pike to introduce himself." Amanda looked to Teaspoon sadly, "I've been on the run ever since."

"Where's Hack?" Cody asked.

"He left me, I have no one." She started to sob, but the boys didn't care for her tears, they weren't done with their questions.

"How does Jacob know you have the map?"

"I don't know. I can only imagine that someone had told him that I was at the mission with Frank. And if Hack was right and someone was watching us then he had to know we were searching for the treasure. Wouldn't have taken him long to put two and two together."

"Why didn't you tell the town in the first place what you had in your possession?" Buck queried.

"I had to be sure. I had to find out first before I got the towns' people's hopes up. They have been depending on this discovery for so long."

"How did Jacob know to look here?" Jimmy wanted to know, but knowing in his heart that this was not just about the money.

"That I can't tell you."

"Why did you come here? What did you think we could do to help you?" Jimmy asked with accusing eyes.

"Jimmy," Teaspoon hissed under his breath.

"No Teaspoon we deserve answers."

"We do but please..." Teaspoon begun to protest, but Jimmy went up to him and turned his head to Look Teaspoon in the eye.

"Don't. You know what happened here the other night." He whispered to Teaspoon, before addressing the other boys. "Is it just me or does anyone else think that Amanda's story just doesn't seem to fit?"

Teaspoon narrowed his eyes and looked sideways at Jimmy. He was upset that Jimmy was going to air this all now.

"I'm telling you the truth." Amanda swore, not at all liking where this was coming from.

"So Kid and Noah dying was over a stupid fucken' map?" Jimmy took an angry step closer to Amanda, "Use that pretty little head of yours sweetheart. I'm guessing that if they found out who you are then they found out that Teaspoon and we were responsible for Jacob's brothers' deaths."

"I-I-I didn't know..." Amanda cried, and she didn't know Noah and Kid had been killed. In her mind Teaspoon and the boys all seemed to be invincible, bulletproof even. She never imagined that they could get killed.

Jimmy inched even closer, making Teaspoon stand slightly in front of Amanda. "Not everything is about money Amanda, for some people it is about family." Jimmy seethed with hate. "So why did you come here?"

With a shaky voice Amanda replied, "A friend of mine said someone came looking for me a day or so ago. After I got a description I was sure they were talking about Lou. So I thought you already knew."

The boys stood there not knowing whether or not to believe Amanda. She did seem to have answers to all of their questions. But they also knew that when it comes to money, it changes people, it is the root of all evil.

Teaspoon pulled Amanda up from the chair and held onto her hating that she was having these troubles. He hoped that he would be able to bring in Jacob Pike and his men and make them pay for what they had done to Rachel, Lou, Kid and Noah.

"Well isn't that just cosy."

"Lou?" Buck, Ike, Cody and Jimmy all took a step forward.

The bruises on her face were still vibrant in anger, but they were happy to see her. Of course not one of them took a step too close, they did not want to upset her. But they did by not making a move.

Lou felt like a leper. She felt like she was in this alone, and couldn't help but wonder what lies Amanda had fed them.

"Lou what happened to you?" Amanda asked, slightly taken back by the hostile look she was receiving from Lou, and at how badly beaten she looked.

"You happened Amanda. This was meant for you." Lou sneered, causing Amanda to flinch back into Teaspoon.

"Lou that is enough." Teaspoon roared. How dare Lou wish someone else the same fate she had endured, no matter how much hate was there.

Lou's insides flinched at Teaspoon's rough voice. Of course Lou wasn't talking about the rape. As much as she hated Amanda, she wouldn't wish that upon anyone. When Amanda made her comment, Lou knew she was talking about the bruises on her face that was all Lou meant. Did Teaspoon really believe Lou could be that cold?

Amanda guessed right, it was Lou in Benton, and by the look Amanda was receiving she had obviously meet Jacob Pike and his men, but did that mean she had found some information out as well?

Lou swallowed her hurt, "I'll be just getting my stuff." Was all she replied as she walked over to her bunk.

Buck was now leaning up against her bunk where her packed things were sitting. Lou leant down to roll up her dresses in her bed roll, she whispered through the corner of her mouth, "Is Rachel ok?"

"She is," Buck told his friend just as quiet. He was so sad for her, and wished he could take the demons away.

Lou gathered her things and went for the door, but it was blocked by Jimmy who had stepped in front of it to stop Lou from leaving without him. "I'm going with you." Jimmy told her.

"No. I need to do this for myself." Lou told him, but deep inside her she was screaming at him to protest, to kick up a fuss and demand that he come.

"Lou please, you can't do this by yourself, let me help you." Jimmy pleaded, his heart breaking at how small and fragile she seemed. Lou's insides smiled as they got what they wanted, but for some fucked up reason her mouth told him...

"No."

Lou opened the door leaving no room for any argument. "Where are you going?" Amanda asked Lou quickly.

"To find more evidence that you are just as guilty as Jacob Pike." And with that she was gone, leaving an enraged Amanda and more questions for the boys.

Jimmy stood staring at the closed door where Lou had just walked through. Cody came to stand next to him both thinking the same thing. "This isn't right."

"She must have found out a few things if she already knows about Jacob Pike." Buck stated.

Ike turned towards Buck, so only he could see what he had to say. "And she said more evidence about Amanda," Ike signed to Buck who nodded. "Meaning she already has some." Again Buck nodded his agreement. He didn't want to speak it out loud for Teaspoon's and Amanda's ears.

He knew that if Amanda played a bigger part in all of this, Teaspoon would be devastated more than he even is.

Amanda kept looking at the door, she had got confirmation enough that Lou had been to Benton, so she knew that Lou more of the truth than anyone, but she will not know all of it, and she will not know why her leaving was not what Amanda wanted, not what she wanted at all.

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><p><strong>In the past week or so I have had a chance to sit and read some other stories out there, not as many as I like, but the ones I have read have been great. I find myself waiting for updates and checking my inbox to see if there are any new chapters. So for those who are enjoying any of my stories, I'm sorry I leave you guys waiting so long between chapters. I promise I do try and get them out as fast as I can. xx<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own the Young Riders**

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><p>Lou got as far as the barn when she heard the bunkhouse door being swung open, and the sound of heavy footsteps pounding on the dirt coming up fast behind her.<p>

"I know what you said but I'm calling you out on your bullshit." Jimmy's voice said gruffly.

"What?" Lou asked in confusion swinging around to front Jimmy.

"You need me, and I need you. I'm coming with you." He told her.

Lou looked to Jimmy tears falling from her eyes, "Why would you need me?" she asked unbelieving that Jimmy needed anyone.

"You are my best friend Lou, I'm grieving and I'm hurt and I need you with me." Jimmy watched as Lou's face softened, "And if you don't want to stay here then I will follow you." Jimmy inched closer. Lou looked like she was about to take off but he wouldn't stand for that, so he inched even closer preparing to pull her in if need be.

"Let me help you Lou. Let me help find and kill the bastard Pike. He had his men come in here and touched...violated you and Rachel. Let me help you find out want was so darn important that Kid and Noah had to die like that. Please Lou I need you to let me help you."

Lou dropped to her knees into the dirt. Her skirt fanned out around her as she hid her face in the palms of her hands. Jimmy heart brokenly watched as her small shoulders shook with gut wrenching sobs.

Jimmy risked it and stepped closer, guiding Lou up to her feet by her elbow. Once she was on her feet he wrapped his secure arms around her tight, holding her as she cried her wee heart out. Lou's arms hung to her side, she wanted so much to hug him back but she was scared.

She was scared that if she showed just how much she truly needed him too she would lose him. Lose all of them.

Both Lou and Jimmy didn't notice that Cody, Ike and Buck were all sitting on the porch looking at their friends, and feeling their pain.

Teaspoon stood in the door way with Amanda close behind him. He loved both of these girls like daughters, and with what has happened these last few days he was saddened at the distance between them all. He believed that Lou was looking for someone to blame for what happened here the other night, hell they all were, but Amanda was not that person.

Amanda stood behind her father hoping that Lou's breakdown meant that she would stick around. Amanda needed Lou, but knew she had to be careful about how she went around getting her to stay.

Jimmy continued to hold Lou wishing that she would hold him back. He hoped that she hadn't lost trust in him like she had with Teaspoon.

The longer Jimmy held her the more the ice chipped away at her heart. Lou found that her arms started twitching at her side as they wanted to hold onto Jimmy as tight as he was holding onto her.

Lou felt like the hole that had been ripped open inside of her was being held together by Jimmy's strong hold. She felt somewhat whole in this moment.

No longer scared that if she held on she could lose him, she now feared that if she didn't return the embrace he would pull away and she did not want that.

Her arms snaked around Jimmy's waist and rested the palms of her hands flat against his back pushing Jimmy even closer to her.

Jimmy's body relaxed against hers, he kissed the side of her head thanking the lord above that Lou was not as lost as she seemed.

Lou had needed these arms, she was thankful for these arms.

Teaspoon looked back towards Amanda gesturing with his hand that she move back inside the bunkhouse. He knew that Lou was angry with her and would not want Amanda to see her in this state. Amanda on the other hand had other ideas.

"Do you think this means Lou is staying?" Amanda asked Teaspoon hopefully almost gleefully.

Teaspoon didn't like the way Amanda's voice changed. Why did she want Lou around, when Lou had made it perfectly clear that Amanda was in her firing line?

"Not that I don't wish Lou would stay Amanda, why would you?" Amanda quickly scolded herself for slipping. She couldn't allow Teaspoon to doubt her, not before she got want she needed.

"Teaspoon that's not very nice."

"Amanda, Lou doesn't seem at all happy with you at the moment..." Teaspoon begun but Amanda cut him off there.

"And why is that? What have I done to her to cause her to hate me so much?"

Sighing out loud, not at all ready to tell of the nightmare that happened here a few nights ago, Teaspoon sat his tired body into a chair and begun telling Amanda everything that had happened.

Meanwhile Ike, Cody and Buck were still sitting on the porch watching their two friends comfort each other.

They wished that they too could go with Lou, but they wouldn't dare leave Teaspoon alone. Teaspoon was hurting just as much as the rest of them, and he was also stuck right dab in the middle of his love for Lou and Amanda.

Teaspoon would need the boys, and they had no intention on turning their back on him.

"Are you ready to leave honey?" Jimmy asked Lou, who's cries had slowed down to just a whimper.

Lou pulled away and looked into his eyes. Jimmy knew that look all too well. He tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows just daring her to say the words.

"Jimmy as much as I want you to come with me, I don't think you can."

"Of course I can Lou."

Lou shook her head no, "No you can't, not back to Benton." She knew Jimmy would find trouble as soon as he stepped foot in town.

Buck and the other boys got off of the porch, "Lou, Benton is shut off, they aint' allowing anyone in." Buck told her.

"To outsiders it is cut off," Lou told them making them confused. Isn't that exactly what Lou was, an outsider? "I'm staying with a cousin." Lou smiled her first real smile today.

"I'm staying with Jane." She smiled again looking to Buck. "I met up with her and she is helping me. Jacob Pike and his men think that I am her cousin, I can't show up with you on my arm Jimmy."

"Jacob Pike? Lou what are you doing?" Cody asked, worried that she was heading straight for trouble.

"Look you just have to trust me." Lou told them all. She watched as the boys all seemed to exchange a strange look. "You do believe me don't you?" Lou asked. "I mean with Amanda."

"Honestly Lou we don't know what to believe." Lou looked like she was about to storm off. If they didn't believe her what the hell was the use of even talking to them? Buck grabbed her wrist, "Tell us what you know, make us believe you."

"Shouldn't my word just be enough? Surely you know me well enough to know that I'm not a liar."

"Lou we don't think you're lying to us. But it aint' fare to ask us to just believe you, when you know we have Teaspoon on the other side just as convinced as you are, that Amanda wouldn't have anything to do with this." Cody told her.

"You have to give us something, something we can go on from here." Buck pleaded.

Lou knew the boys were right and that it wasn't fare for her just to expect their alliance. They loved Teaspoon just as they loved her.

"Did Amanda tell you that Hack was killed?" The boys looked to one another shocked, before Ike shook his head no.

"Well he was." She stated angrily. "Did she tell you about the money?" The boys nodded their heads.

Lou looked to the bunkhouse to see Amanda's form in the window. "I don't think this has anything to do with the money, well not on Jacob's side anyway." Lou knew in her gut that it had everything to do with the money for Amanda.

"We thought that too. Jacob wants revenge for his brothers." Jimmy agreed.

"It doesn't just stop there," Lou muttered under her breath, but Jimmy heard her.

"What do you mean Lou?"

"Jane told me that Hack was partly responsible for killing Jacob's wife and child. I'm not sure if he was the one to pull the trigger exactly, but I know he was killed for his part."

"Holly hell."

"Yeah. I think that Jacob obviously knew that Teaspoon and Amanda were connected, there aint' a person alive who doesn't know what Teaspoon would do for that girl. So when he learnt of his brother's deaths he must have known Teaspoon was behind it all. But I think because Hack killed Jacob's wife and child, he wanted to hurt Amanda the same way by killing some of her family off. The money is just a sweetner on top of that."

"You don't think he wants Amanda dead?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't know. Jane seems to think that Amanda and Hack weren't even together, but I don't know if Jacob thought that. I can only guess that he saw Hack and Amanda as lovers for him want to hurt her by killing her family."

The boys were processing what had been said when Lou started to make her way to the barn. She needed to get back to Benton and she needed to put as many miles as she could between her and Amanda.

"Lou," She turned around to face Jimmy,

"Yeah,"

"Are you...I mean...are you alright?" she looked into the eyes of her boys. She loved them all dearly and could see the concern in their eyes.

"Far from it." She told them truthfully.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own the Young Riders**

Lou arrived back in Benton a day later than she had hoped, and like she told the boys she did not have a problem getting past Jacob's men.

She actually wondered what they were doing. They were not there when she had left, so what was with the sudden need to keep people away?

Jane came out to meet Lou and helped her put her horse in the livery. "How did it go?" Jane asked, leading Lou's stead into the stables.

"As well as can be expected." Lou sighed, before leaning close to Jane. "Amanda was there," she whispered making sure no one over heard her.

Jane's eyes widened. "Teaspoon welcomed her in with open arms." Lou continued. Jane could see the how much that hurt Lou. "I think they tried coming here, the boys I mean. But were stopped...What is with Jacob's men on the outskirts of town?" Lou questioned.

Jane did a quick scan to make sure she and Lou were alone. "Apparently Amanda was seen a couple days back talking to someone from town. Someone is feeding her with information and Jacob was beyond pissed."

"I could imagine."

"Problem is he has stopped supplies for the general store, well for any of the merchants, until the person that is fraternising with Amanda steps forward."

And that was just another reminder what sort of a man Jacob Pike is. Lou couldn't help it she felt disappointed in him.

She could understand that he was hurt, she could relate, but never would Lou make innocent people suffer because she was. And suffering is what these town folk will do if they can't get their supplies.

"So tell me, how is everyone back in Sweetwater?"

"I didn't get to see Rachel," Lou said sadly before filling Jane in on everything else.

Jane listened to Lou telling her about what was said back in Sweetwater as they walked home. Jane was happy to have Lou back with her. Jane hadn't realised just how lonely she was until Lou had left.

"Well we should turn in, and you need to get some sleep before your big date tomorrow night."

"Is that tomorrow?"

"Mmm hmm, you're home a day late." Jane was still not thrilled on the idea that Lou was going to be in Jacob's home alone.

"Jane it will be alright." Jane looked over to Lou. How did she know what Jane was thinking? "I can see that concern on your face. I will be fine, don't worry." Lou told her friend.

After the girls said their goodnights, they both turned in. Lou laid her head upon her pillow and pulled the photograph, she had taken from the saloon, out.

She smiled at her boys and Teaspoon. Lou hoped that she would fall asleep and dream of the better times.

The following day Jane helped Lou get ready for her date with Jacob. Well she actually spent a good part of the day trying to talk Lou out of going.

Lou was trying her hardest to not convey how much she was looking forward to seeing Jacob again. Jane was constantly behind her reminding Lou what sort of man Jacob was.

Lou couldn't stop thinking that Jane didn't know the true Jacob Pike. After all he lost his brothers, his wife and his child, that was bound to make someone snap.

"You look beautiful," Jane told Lou as tied the last lace on her boots. Lou stood and straightened her blue dress.

"Thanks," Lou said not believing it for a minute.

A knock on the door had the two girls freezing on the spot. Jane recovered the quickest while Lou reached for her gun, just in case.

"Hello Miss, I am here to escort Miss Louise to her dinner with Mr Pike." A male's voice said with a British accent. Lou placed the gun back down and walked to the door.

An older gentleman stood before her. "And you are?"

"Sorry Miss, how rude of me. I am Winston, I work for Mr Pike." He seemed too polite to work for Jacob, Lou thought. "I believe Mr Pike has invited you to join him for supper. If you would allow me to, I would like to escort you to his place of residence, and Mr Pike will escort you home."

Lou looked to Jane unsure as to what to do. Jane shrugged her shoulders. It was up to Lou to make that decision.

"Alright, thank you Winston." Lou smiled. She gave Jane a quick hug and told her that she would see her later.

Lou kept an eye out as her and Winston travelled just out of town. About twenty minutes later they came to a pretty house that wa

Jacob greeted Lou at the door. He smiled when he saw her, his memories doing her no justice. Louise was an attractive woman, any fool could see that, but Jacob had an idea that Louise herself didn't see it.

"You look beautiful," he told her. Lou smiled, especially hearing that for the second time today.

He led her to the dining room where his help had dressed the table eloquently. Pulling out the chair to the left side of the head of the table, he ushered Louise to sit down.

Lou smiled as she adjusted her dress, and sat in the chair. She looked over the table noticing how shinny the silver was. Jacob had gone to a lot of effort for tonight.

"So would you like to start by telling me about yourself?" Jacob asked Lou. Lou was going to start but a man came in carry a pitcher of red wine.

"Would you like a glass Miss?" The man asked Louise.

"Yes, thank you." Lou watched as the man poured her glass and then Jacob's before leaving the room.

Lou picked up her glass and took a careful sip of the wine. She had tried it before with Jimmy, and just like then she enjoyed the taste.

"It surprises me that you could get a bottle of wine, when no supplies are coming into town."

Jacob was taken back at Louise's blatant dig at his dealings within the town. Did she know the reasons behind his decision? Did she know Amanda?

"I guess you have a few things about me then."

"I must confess I have learnt a lot about you these last few days." Lou told him truthfully as she set her glass of wine back on the table.

Jacob scoffed out loud before saying, "All bad I bet."

"Yes," Lou smiled before her face dropped a mile, "But some sad as well." She gulped, "I'm sorry to hear about..."

"Don't." Jacob snapped. He knew what she was about to say, and he didn't want to hear how sympathetic she was.

'"So..."

"DON'T!" Lou flinched at the sound of Jacob's raised voice. "Don't you dare mention them. I don't want their names to come from your mouth." He warned her.

Lou already crying, got up from her chair and went for the door, but Jacob was out of his chair just as quick.

He quickly grabbed Lou and pinned her between himself and the wall, his hands flat against the wall either side of her head.

Lou was quivering in fear, memories of her attack still too fresh in her mind.

"Stop crying." He demanded.

"I can't your scaring me." Lou told him, trying to hold back her tears.

Jacob looked over Lou's frightened face. He could still see the bruises on her delicate face, and it made him realise what it he was doing.

"I don't mean to scare you Louise. If I step back will you sit back down and finish your meal with me?" Lou must have been showing her uncertainty, because Jacob began to plead. "Please, I am sorry I just...well I just..." Jacob tried racking his brain trying to find the right excuse. "There is no excuse for acting that way, I am truly sorry Louise."

Lou wanted to hate Jacob Pike. She wanted to hate him so much because he was the reason Kid and Noah had been killed. And he was the reason why Rachel and her had been violated, but for some fucked up reason she just couldn't hate him.

"I understand." Lou told him.

"No I don't think you do," he told her.

Jacob did not know of Louise's past, but she looked far too young to have experienced a family. Surely she did not have a child. A child she loved more than herself. A child she hoped would carry her family's name on for decades to come.

She would not know the first thing about watching her own child dying in her arms. To look down to his paling little face, knowing that it was his own bad doings that bought this pain onto his child.

Lou was shocked when she saw a lone tear slip from Jacob's eye. She could see he was trapped in a memory, and a sad one at that.

The simple drop of salty water made Lou realise that although she knew of Jacob's dealings he was still a human and that heartfelt tear was proof of that.

Lou raised a shaky hand and wiped the tear from Jacob's eye never taking her eyes off of his.

At Louise's touch Jacob felt warmness spread through him, one he thought he would never feel again.

He did not know the young women in front of him yet she was showing him more emotion than any one had ever shown him before. Even his late wife.

Lou took her fingers away, scared that she may have offended the man in front of her. And although her heart was warming to him her mind was constantly reminding her of what this man was capable of, and the pain he had caused her family.

"How do you do that?" Jacob asked Lou.

"Do what?"

"You flick through emotions, as quickly as you blink." Lou didn't know what he meant. "I just watched your eyes soften and then hardened in just seconds."

"You confuse me is all." Lou admitted.

"Explain."

"You already know that I heard things about you?" Jacob nodded, "Well I was trying to see how that man fits to the one that stands before me now."

"I don't know what to tell you." Jacob told her.

"Tell me everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. No matter what it is I want to know, so I can make up my own mind on you."

Jacob stepped away from Louise not knowing what to do or what to say.

He felt bewitched by Louise, as every retched thing he had ever done sat on the tip of his tongue ready to tell Louise everything.

She was like a witch who had cast a spell on him. She had him saying things and doing things that he would never have done. The sudden realisation hit him hard, she was dangerous to him.

"You know what Louise? I think it is time for you to go home. I will have one of my men..."

"No," Lou said with fear in her eyes making Jacob wonder what she was so scared off. "I would rather walk." Lou grabbed her purse from the table. She should have never come here.

"Louise it aint safe and I I'm just not up to riding back with you. It is dark and I would feel better if one of my men walked..."

"I not afraid of the dark, I'm scared of your men. So excuse me." Lou headed for the door as fast as her legs and dress would allow. There was no way one of Jacob's men would accompany Lou. She knew what his men are capable of, did he?

"Louise," Jacob called out, but Lou didn't dare turn. "Louise," Jacob said a little more forcibly.

"You wanted me gone, this is me leaving." Lou told him as she ran down the stairs of Jacob's front porch.

"Well I want you to stop, so stop."

Lou ignored him as she started for the direction of home.

Jacob ran up behind her and spun her around to face him. Lou looked everywhere but at him. "Look at me god damn it."

Lou was red with rage as she looked to the hands that held her, then up to the eyes of the man "You don't get to touch me, so take your hands off of me now."

"Louise I am sorry,"

"Well that makes everything alright then. I mean if you're sorry then it doesn't matter that people could starve because there are no supplies coming in. Or that good honest folk are forced to close their store and move on because they have no goods to sell so they have no money coming in. It all doesn't matter because you're sorry. You are an asshole."

Jacob didn't think.

He was pissed off that Louise had called him out on his bullshit, no one called him out. But when his back hand connected with the side of her face, he was just as shocked as she was.

Lou's hand flew to cover her cheek, "I...I..." Jacob begun to stutter, "I didn't mean to do that."

"See I think you plan everything you do." Lou said coldly, dropping her hand from her cheek. "Goodnight." Was all she left him with as she made her way back to Jane.

Jacob did not stop her, he just watched as she walked away.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own the Young Riders**

As soon as Jane saw Lou's face she scolded herself for letting her friend go to Jacob on her own. How dare Jacob treat her in that way.

Lou didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted her bed and her dreams. She fell asleep holding the photograph as close to her heart as she could get it.

Weeks went by and Lou was giving up hope that she would find out anything else about Amanda, or Jacob for that matter.

Lou knew that the boys would be getting anxious and if Lou herself didn't go to them she knew that they would turn up on Jane's doorstep, and Lou couldn't have that.

After the night with Jacob he allowed supplies to come back into the township, but he still had his men posted on the outskirts of town, keeping a watchful on out for Amanda.

Lou talked Jane into going back to Sweetwater with her. She felt that if Jane was there for her moral support, then she wouldn't be putting the boys in the middle of her and Teaspoon again.

The two girls rode out the following morning under the watchful eye of Jacob Pike and his men. Lou knew that Jacob was watching but she did not dare give him the time of day.

When Jane and Lou arrived in Sweetwater they were immediately welcomed by Ike and Cody. Cody helped Lou off of Lightning and swung her around in his arms. "You have stayed away too long girl,"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven in my eyes." Lou narrowed her eyes at Cody. Obviously someone wasn't happy with her. "Thought we might had to have chained Jimmy up, if you stayed away any longer."

"Should've guessed," Lou sighed suddenly remembering Jane. "You both remember Jane, don't you?"

Cody tipped his hat, while Ike smiled brightly and nodded his head. The sound of something dropping had the friends looking to see where the noise had come from.

Lou caught the back of Rachel running towards her house. "She aint' doing too well Lou." Cody told her.

"Lou?" Jimmy's called out. He started walking up to her, all his panicking looked like it was in vein. Lou looked perfect. Gone were her bruises and her cuts.

"Hi Jimmy."

"You told me..."

"I know, but I'm here now." It was Jimmy's turn to wrap his arms around Lou. She was a beautiful sight.

Lou however was too busy looking over Jimmy's shoulder towards Rachel's house. Lou had abandoned her friend in her time of need, and Lou had a feeling that Rachel was none too happy with her.

"Jane would you mind taking my things to the bunkhouse, I need to talk with Rachel."

Jimmy pulled Lou back from him. His hands holding both of the tops of her arms, he told her, "She's in a bad way."

"I know Cody said. I have to go talk with her."

"You go do that, we'll finish up in the barn and I know that supper is started somewhere along the line." He smiled.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit." Lou looked to the house once again dreading what was going to resurface in her memories. She had not been back in there since that night and in a way she had hoped that she would have never had to again.

Opening the door the smell of hot biscuits caused Lou's stomach to growl. She was hungry and they smelt good.

Rachel was sitting in one of the arm chairs, just staring out the window.

Lou wondered over to the chair next to her friend and went to say hello, when Rachel said something that darn near knocked Lou off of her chair.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh Rachel," was all Lou could say.

"I don't want it Lou. I don't want a reminder of that night." Rachel cried as Lou got out of her chair and stepped closer to comfort her friend. "Henry and I were meant to have a baby. Our baby was made out of love. I don't want this thing," Rachel covered her stomach, "To taint my happy memories of Henry or our unborn child."

"It wouldn't be that way Rachel. You have us here to help you and we will help you."

"You're never here Lou. You left me. You left me in a house fall of men, Men I knew that I was meant to trust, but just their mere presence made my skin crawl" Rachel said with so much hate it made Lou flinch.

"Rachel I'm sorry," Lou cried. "I will forever be sorry for letting you down. But the baby Rachel..." Lou was trying to think of what to say to her about the child that was growing inside of her. "Look at Buck, he is a fine man. One who was conceived just as brutally as your child, but it does not make him who he is." Lou stressed.

"His mother was obviously stronger than me then. Cos' I know with without a shadow of a doubt that I already hate this thing. I hate it. I won't be able to look at it any more than I can look at myself." Lou's lips trembled under the enormity of Rachel's hate for not only her unborn child, but for herself as well. Lou had to try and make her see an upside of this. It was not the child's fault of how it was conceived.

"Rachel, you have a little girl or a little boy who is an innocent in all of this, growing inside of you. I know you have a whole lot of hate in you right now, but I also know when you lay eyes on your little bundle you will feel nothing but love." Lou promised softly.

"And what if they are the eyes of its possible father? Their eyes are burned forever inside my mind. What if this thing has the same eyes? What then Louise?"

"If you decide that you cannot be a mother of the child, then I will be. I will proudly raise the dear child, because as much as those men were the scum of the earth, that child is growing inside of you. YOU, not them. This child will have your heart Rachel, how could it not?" Rachel looked up to Lou for the first time.

Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. They had dark rings around them, and the blank stare that she was giving Lou, scared Lou more than anything.

"I'm tired, I'm just so tired." Rachel cried. She had had enough of this talk. "Please I just need to sleep." Rachel continued to cry.

"Alright I will leave you be, but I aint' going anywhere Rachel. I'm here for you." Rachel didn't respond she just got up out of her chair and headed for her room.

The room that use to be her place of comfort from the world is now nothing but a cell. A dark dreary cell, that holds no solace for her at all.

Lou will always regret leaving Rachel behind that day. She should have taken her with her, or at least told her that she was leaving.

With one last look at Rachel's door Lou headed for the bunkhouse. Coming down the stairs she was met with Jane.

"Just getting the biscuits that were apparently made earlier," Jane pointed to inside Rachel's house. "Are you alright Lou?" Jane couldn't help but notice to forlorn expression on Lou's face.

"Yeah, just worried about Rachel is all." Lou continued down the stairs, "Is supper ready?" She asked Jane.

"Yes. The boys are just finishing up in the barn and Amanda is setting the table." Lou grunted out loud, she had nearly forgotten Amanda was still here. "Great." Was all Lou muttered making her way over to the bunkhouse.

Lou chanced a look at the barn hoping that the boys were making their way out and heading towards the bunkhouse as well. She was worried that if she and Amanda were alone, Lou might just kill her. And although the thought appealed to Lou, she knew that it would shatter what was left of hers relationship with Teaspoon.

Lou opened the door quietly, hesitantly, but she was glad she did.

"Amanda, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Lou yelled seeing the woman she despised leaning over her things on her bunk.

Amanda jumped in surprise shocked she had been caught. Her mind racing with excuses to tell Lou. "I dropped an earring. Sorry I wasn't going through your stuff." Amanda said straightening up.

Jane came into the bunkhouse at this time. She looked between Lou and Amanda. "Did you lose both of them Amanda?" Lou asked.

"No why?"

"Well you aren't wearing any earrings, so either you lost one or you lost them both." Amanda looked like a fish out of water not knowing what to say. "That's what a thought. Do you think that maybe you weren't wearing any to begin with?"

Jane placed the biscuits on the table eyeing Amanda carefully. She had obviously been caught red handed going through Lou's things.

"What's going on in here?" Cody asked as he too came into the bunkhouse, with the rest of the boys behind him. They could all feel the tension in the room.

"Amanda was just about to tell me where her earrings are." Lou told the boys not taking her eyes from Amanda.

"It must have been something else I heard drop. I just assumed it was my earring."

"Dangerous thing assuming," Lou sneered Amanda's way taking a step closer. "I know you were going through my things, so don't play games with me. Just tell me what the fuck you are..."

"Louise that is enough." Teaspoon roared coming into the room. "It has been weeks and you still haven't come up with anything set in stone about Amanda. From what I have seen and heard the only thing she is guilty of is falling for that jackass Hack."

"Teaspoon she is after the town's money, her and Hack both were." Jane spoke up.

"Well that's over now, she doesn't know where the money is." Teaspoon defended, "And that is no reason for what happened here."

"No but Hack killed Jacob's wife and child, he had good enough evidence to believe that she and Hack were together. Jacob wanted Amanda to suffer, just like he is." Lou rushed out to Teaspoon, before adding... "Mix that with the fact you and the boys killed Frank and Emory, Jacob obviously felt like he had just reason to send those men here."

"Do you?" Jane asked Lou. Lou was taken aback by Jane's question, while everyone else seemed to be confused. "Do you think that he had a good enough reason for coming here?" Jane asked again. She knew that her friend had been struggling with her feelings for Jacob. She wanted to know if Lou forgave him because she thought he had a good reason for killing Kid and Noah.

"No." Lou said plain and simple. Jane had no idea that Jacob's men raped Lou and Rachel, before killing Kid and Noah. There is no way on earth that Lou would ever forgive him.

"Why would Jane ask you that?" Buck queried looking between the two girls.

Jane seemed to snap out of it a little quicker than Lou. "I have no idea why..." Lou couldn't let Jane lie.

"Because I had dinner with Jacob Pike." Lou admitted.

"Why would you do darn fool thing like that?" Teaspoon asked.

"Honestly I have no idea." Lou told him. "There is something about him that draws me in. Well there was."

"And there's not now?" Jimmy questioned. Lou looked up to him and shook her head no. "Did something happen between you two?"

Once again Lou shook her head, but Jane wasn't having any of that. "Oh if you call hitting her nothing."

"JANE." Lou growled. What had gotten into her friend? She was meant to be on Lou's side.

Jane looked apologetic towards Lou, she didn't know why she blurted it out like that, maybe it was because she was still angry that Jacob had dare raised his hand at Lou.

"He hit you?" Jimmy asked calmer than what Lou or anyone else would have imagined.

"More of a slap really," Lou down played.

"Oh well that's alright then," Jimmy sung mockingly raising his hands up in surrender. "I knew I should have followed you."

"You didn't give Jacob anything, did you?" Lou snapped her head back to Amanda. What in the hell would have Lou given him?

Lou looked questionably at her. Time to play a game. "I did," Lou smiled, lying through her teeth. "Why did you want it back?"

Amanda didn't know what to say. If she admitted that she did want it back, or made a fuss about it, she could lose Teaspoon.

"What do you want back Amanda?" Cody asked.

Lou got out of her chair and walked up to stand in Amanda's face. "It's long gone Amanda. You might as well pack your bags and go." Lou whispered just soft enough for Amanda to hear.

"It wasn't yours to give away Lou."

"I'm guessing it wasn't yours either."

"Girls," Teaspoon warned softly, "Maybe its best that you go your separate ways for a spell, cool off."

"I'm not leaving." Amanda said digging her heels in.

"No one asked you to Amanda." Teaspoon instantly regretted saying that as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn't mean it in the way he sounded, he hoped Lou knew that.

"I guess that leaves me then." Lou tried not to sound hurt by Teaspoons support of Amanda, but even Lou could hear it in her voice. "I want to go for a ride any way."

Lou raced out of the bunkhouse and headed towards the barn. She could hear Jimmy and Cody's raised voices, arguing with Teaspoon behind her.

She felt as if she was fighting a losing battle. None of this was working out the way she had hoped. One thing was certain though, and as much as Lou was horrified to admit it, maybe Amanda didn't play as big of a part in this as she had once hoped.

Yes she knew Amanda was playing Teaspoon, and there was no doubt in Lou's mind that Amanda still wanted that money, but she did not send those men here to destroy Lou's family. Jacob had done that, no one else.

Lou pulled open the barn doors; they felt heavy in Lou's emotionally tired state. Lou looked out towards Lightning's stall when her world turned another shade of dark.

Lou screamed and she screamed as two feet dangled in front of her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**So this is an emotional chapter, and hard for me to write. A friend of mine was killed last Saturday, and I was in an emotional state when I wrote it. I hope it reads ok.**

"**RACHEL, RACHEL NO!"** Lou screamed as she ran to Rachel's legs that dangled in the air. Lou instantly wrapped her arms around Rachel's ankles and tried with all of her might to push Rachel up to take the weight off of Rachel's neck.

"**HELP ME, SOMEONE HELP ME."** Lou screamed, her ankles giving way as she struggled trying to push Rachel up. Lou felt useless, she was too short to make any difference but she did not give up.

"**HELP ME."** Lou screamed again

Jimmy came barrelling in with his colts drawn and Buck hot on his heels. Teaspoon, Cody, Ike, Jane and Amanda were behind them.

"**CUT HER DOWN, HURRY CUT HER DOWN."** Lou pleaded.

Buck pulled his knife free and cut the rope that hung from the rafters.

Rachel's weight fell atop of Lou sending Lou to the ground with Rachel on top of her. "Rachel no," Lou cried pulling Rachel around so she was on her back. Lou frantically swept Rachel's hair from her face. Lou looked to her chest praying that she would see it rise and fall, but nothing. Lou placed her ear over Rachel's heart hoping for a flutter, a beat of hope. But nothing.

Rachel was gone. Lou couldn't save her or her unborn child.

Everyone stood around crying their tears of grief.

Lou pulled Rachel into her arms the best she could and rocked her like a child. "I'm sorry, so sorry." Lou cried as she cradled her friend. Lou had failed her friend, her family. If it wasn't for her Kid, Noah and Rachel would still be here.

Lou continued to cry as she held Rachel's body close.

"Why would she do that?" Lou heard Amanda ask. Lou's insides seethed, how fucking dare she even open her mouth.

With tear stained eyes Lou looked to Jimmy's hand's to see his colts were only just resting in his hands. Lou laid Rachel down and reached out taking one of Jimmy's colts.

Lou raised it and cocked it before anyone could imagine.

"Lou what...?"

"Lou it aint going to bring her back."

"Lou?"

"Lou no.."

"Shut up. All of you shut the fuck up."

Lou wailed as she looked down at her friend, no life in her pretty face, then too her still flat stomach. Lou would have kept her promise in taking care of that child, why would Rachel not allow her to do that?

Lou hiccupped as she wiped her nose, and her tears. "Rachel was raped by two men who came here looking for you. They violated her, and I have no doubt that they would have killed her like they did Noah and Kid."

"I didn't know..." Amanda told Lou. Teaspoon had told her about Noah and Kid, but he did not mention that Rachel had been raped.

"No you didn't fucking know." Lou sneered. "What did they want? Why would they come here looking for you? What do you have that is so important? I mean you say you don't have the map so what do you fucking have?"

"I...I...I told a friend that I was coming here. I guess that person wasn't as close of a friend as I had thought."

"The money Amanda, the god damn money. Do you swear that you have no idea where it is?"

Amanda looked down at Rachel, then to Teaspoon. She hated that Teaspoon held so much love and trust in his eyes when he looked back. It was going to break his heart when the truth came out.

"Hack told me he loved me, that I was the one. I loved him back, I trusted him. So when I saw him come out of the whore house with his shirt buttoned up wrong and his belt still undone it killed me. I lost trust in him, but I kept up with the charade." Amanda stayed quiet for a minute.

"I wanted the money for myself." She admitted.

"Hack and I were growing further apart and when Jacob came to town we were near on breaking up and going our separate ways. Hack talked me into letting him hide the map, and because we were being watched I agreed."

"Then Hack was killed and you have no idea where the map or the money is." Lou finished for her.

"No," Amanda shook her head no. "I made a copy way back at the start, but I couldn't get to it, not without a lot of people seeing me." Amanda looked Lou square in the eye, "A photograph,"

Lou placed her hand over her heart she knew that the photograph that Lou kept close to her heart, the one that held the faces of her family was the one that Amanda was talking about.

"That is why you were going through my things?"

"Yes. My friend who now runs the saloon told me that you took it." Teaspoon hung his head as he listened to Amanda. "Not that it matters now if you have given it to Jacob."

"You stupid bitch. I didn't give anything to Jacob." Amanda looked up to Lou with a hopeful look. She wondered briefly if Lou would allow her to have it.

Lou could just see what Amanda was thinking and it pissed her off. "No Amanda you don't get the map." Lou snapped, before looking at Teaspoon, "But you do get to live." Lou said softly.

"Cos as much as I hate you, and I do hate you." Lou confirmed, Lou's lips stared quivering and her heart was breaking, "I just couldn't do that to Teaspoon."

Lou looked back to Amanda, "But somewhere deep inside you I hope you have a conscience. Because if you do you will have to live out your life knowing that you played a small part in all of this. I hope that Noah, Kid and Rachel's faces haunt your dreams." Lou held the colt out to Jimmy hoping that he would take it back in case she changed her mind and fired a round in Amanda.

Lou knelt back down to Rachel's side and kissed her on the forehead. She would carry to her own grave that Rachel was with child. No one had to know. "Can someone help me carry her to the house?" Lou asked no one in particular.

Buck, Ike and Cody all helped each other lift Rachel, while Jimmy placed a comforting arm around Lou.

"I failed her Jimmy," Lou sobbed quietly, placing her head to rest on the side of Jimmy's arm.

"We all did. We knew that she wasn't coping, but instead of asking her if she was alright, we gave her, her space."

"I shouldn't have left her." Lou watched as Buck, Ike and Cody rested Rachel on top of her bed. "Could you please give me a minute to get her cleaned up?" Lou asked sadly. She wanted to place Rachel in her Sunday finest and fix her hair. She couldn't do that with the boys there.

"Sure Lou," each of the boys left the room, but not the house. They wanted to be close just in case Lou needed them.

Lou cleaned up Rachel the best she could. There was no hiding the raw angry marks that were around her neck.

Lou placed a loving hand on Rachel's stomach. "A day will not pass when I don't think of the both of you." Lou tried to swallow her anger towards Rachel for being so selfish, so wrong to choose this fate for her unborn child, but just as Lou knew she would always have to live with the guilt she would have to learn to live with her anger as well.

The riders laid Rachel to rest next to Kid and Noah the following day.

Ike didn't think he would see the cemetery again so soon, it was hard enough the first time. But to now bring Rachel here was devastating.

The sky opened up and rained on them all as they all said their goodbyes and all of them with their own silent apology.

Amanda for her part kept her distance from Lou. Lou had no idea what had conspired between her and Teaspoon, but she was grateful that Amanda wasn't in her face.

Once they were all back at the station Lou shed her black dress, and cape, and changed into the comfort of her soft blue dress. She threw the offending black dress to the corner of the bunkhouse before running out to the barn.

"Lou where are you going?" Jimmy called out with an arm load of wood.

"I'm going to see Pike." Lou yelled out.

Jimmy dropped the heavy load of wood and ran to the barn after Lou, but it was too late she and Lightning thundered out faster than what he would have thought.

Jimmy yelled out for Teaspoon and the other boy's while he saddled up his own mount. "Lou's gone after Pike," Jimmy sneered.

"I'll show you where he lives," Jane said as she too saddled up.

Lou arrived at Jacob the road that led to Jacob's place. She had no idea what she was going to say, but she guessed that the truth was best.

"Lou?" Jimmy's voice questioned coming up behind her and Lightning. "What are you doing?"

"I have to see him, I have to tell him something's...please Jimmy don't stop me, let me do this." Lou heard the approach of the others, and she smiled her first true smile for weeks. She knew that she could do this with her family beside her.

"Ok Lou. But make it quick, cos if you are in there any longer than you have to be, I will come in looking for you." Jimmy warned her.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Lou told Jimmy as she urged her horse closer to the house.

She got off of Lightning and walked up the steps of the porch. She didn't know whether to knock, or to just let herself in.

Lou looked behind her to see that her boy's, Teaspoon and Jane were all watching and waiting. Taking a deep breath in Lou just opened the door and took a step inside. She closed the door quietly behind her and started to search the rooms.

Lou soon found Jacob sitting at his desk. He was going through a stack of papers, with a hand resting on his head.

Lou pulled the photograph from her bosom and placed it in her hand before clearing her throat to get Jacob's attention.

"Lou?"

"Here's your stupid fucking map." Lou threw the photograph on the desk in front of Jacob's face,

"How did you?"

"Lou turned the map over so Jacob could see the photograph on the other side. "Those people are my family." She said as she pointed to the boys.

"Teaspoon Hunter is your family?"

"You said I don't know what it is like to lose someone so close, but I do." Lou took a step back from Jacob and the photograph. "Two of your men were sent to Sweetwater, am I right?"

Jacob nodded his head. He had sent two of his men to track down Amanda and to kill all those who rode with Hunter. But his men did not return.

"Those two men came into our house. They tied up Teaspoon and the boys, binding their feet and wrists." The tears that Lou was trying so hard to keep at bay now ran down her face. "They raped Rachel and...me." a sob escaped both Lou and Jacob.

"Loui..."

"Don't I'm not done." Lou warned Jacob. "They killed Kid and Noah. One was my lover the other was my brother, they killed them and there was nothing anyone could do." Lou cried. She felt so responsible for their deaths. If she could have recovered quicker, then none of them would've had to have died.

"Rachel," Lou wailed. She had sworn to herself that she would tell no one of the baby, but she wanted Jacob to know what he had done. "She fell pregnant, because of those bastards. She ah...she killed herself knowing that she could not love her own child."

Lou wiped at her face, and looked towards the door, knowing what was left of her family were waiting for her.

"Your brothers were bad men Jacob, they really were. They deserved what they got, my family didn't." And with that Lou walked out the door leaving an upset Jacob alone in his despair. But she stopped as she held her hand on the knob of the door.

"I hope that the money makes you happy. I hope that by knowing you destroyed my family it settles the debt for your brother's death. And I really hope that you knowing how much pain you have caused us all fills the void inside your heart."

Lou opened the door to see Jimmy, Buck, Cody, Ike, Jane and Teaspoon waiting for Lou outside. They were all mounted up and ready to leave.

Lou watched as their eyes narrowed at something behind her. She knew without even looking, that they were seeing the man that was responsible for their brother's death, for the first time.

"Louise..." Jacob didn't get any further as five guns were drawn and aimed at him.

"Louise," Jacob said ignoring the gun men. He had not finished with her. He reached out and pulled Lou into him so they were chest to chest. He wrapped an arm tight around her waist while the other held her head close to his mouth. He was using her body as a shield, as he quickly whispered in her ear.

Jimmy and the boys had all dismounted and took a step closer. They were all shouting and demanding for Jacob to let Lou go. But Jacob did not care.

"It was never about the money. This town was all responsible for my family's demise. I wanted them all to pay, and by taking their money it was the easier option.

Lou was crying hysterically, "They killed my boy Louise. Daniel was only six, with thick blond hair and tiny dimples in his cheeks. They killed him. Doesn't he deserve to have revenge? Hack and his Marshall didn't even ask us questions. To this day I still do not know why they stopped me. I was unarmed, to which I told them that but they fired at us any way." Lou felt tears slide down her neck, they were not hers as hers were getting soaked into Jacob's shirt.

"My wife was hit first, blood sprayed Daniel and me, I looked in horror to Hack to see he was smiling as he aimed and fired again, he fucking smiled Louise as my boy was hit." Lou and Jacob cried at loud.

"Pike." Jimmy screamed. He was like a caged animal pacing in front of the porch, screaming at Pike to let Lou go.

Lou was beyond hysterical now. She hated that Jacob was telling her this. She was to not feel sorry for him. She couldn't allow it as it wasn't fare on Kid, Noah or Rachel.

"Amanda was Hack's woman, she was the only one I saw with him, and she was the only one I was able to seek my revenge on, once my men had killed Hack. Killing her would have been too easy. After I spoke to her I knew she held no love for Hack, but everyone knew she loved Hunter, so that is who I went after."

Jacob eyed Teaspoon over Lou's shoulder.

"It was when I told my men of my wishes that they informed me that Hunter was also responsible for my brother's death. I sent those two men to you. I sent them with the sole purpose to destroy you all. I knew that a woman lived there, I knew because I had heard that Frank held you hostage. I knew what those men would have done to you when they got their hands on you, but I didn't care."

Lou's knees buckled under the enormity of what Jacob had just confessed But Jacob just pulled her back up.

Jimmy was still yelling with all his might for Jacob to release Lou.

"I wanted your family to suffer, I wanted you to hurt and I wanted you all dead." Lou cried out in pain as her heart felt like it was being shattered.

"They raped you?" Lou didn't answer Jacob. She had already told him so.

"**I said did they rape you?"** he yelled, to which Jane looked on in shock. This was news to her ears.

"You bastard let her go." Cody demanded.

"_Yes, yes."_ Lou cried in shame.

Jacob grabbed Lou's head tight between his two hands and kissed the side of her head. His eyes were closed as he remembered the bruises on Louise's face when they had first met, and the broken look in her eyes. Jacob was responsible for that.

Jimmy looked on in anger as he saw that the filthy bastard had kissed Lou.

"For what it is worth, I'm sorry Louise." Jacob kissed the top of her head before shoving her at the ground.

Lou swung her head around shocked to see Jacob was staring at her with his arms raised up to the sky. Before she could do anything her family fired at Jacob sending him to the ground in a bloodied heap.

"No, no, no," Lou screamed as she scrambled to Jacob's lifeless body.


End file.
